Well, I am wrapping up my series “On Motherhood and God”. I am not really sure how it went over with my readers or if I’ll ever do something like this again, but I will finish what I started with a concluding post:
A new year started (2009) and I set a goal to lose 40 pounds. I went to the gym every day for about three weeks and I went on a diet. But I would come home exhausted from workouts and I would have to take long naps. I also had bad headaches each day which I thought was because I went off sugar. I was telling a friend about my experiences and she suggested I might be pregnant. No way! That was impossible!
Croft was my first repeat. I had a girl, then a boy, and was having a girl again. I was a little nervous that I wouldn’t love my girls the same. What if one was cuter than the other one? What if one was a girly girl and the other was a tomboy? Could I really love the cheerleader as much as the volleyball player? I wasn’t sure I had it in me.
We have all heard, “It’s the journey, not the destination that counts” but how many of us actually believe it, especially when traveling? We get in the car and want to get where we are going in record time. Well, I decided to enjoy the journey on a recent trip with my kids.
I remember seeing Crew for the first time. Although he came out via c-section, his face was all squished from being so big (10 lbs 2 oz, 22 inches) in such a small space. Chad propped him up for me to see and I cried, “He is ugly and I love him.”
I remember trying to buckle Elle into her car seat one day when she was a little baby. She was throwing a fit- screaming and squirming and thrashing about. I was doing my best to hold her down, get the straps buckled, and remain calm. I just kept gently repeating, “This is for your good, Elle. This is for your good.”