Every once in awhile Chad and I rock it as tag team parents. Last night was one of those nights.
Elle came down the stairs at 9:15 PM (lights were out at 9:00 PM) and said she forgot to do her homework and there was lots of it.
My first reaction was frustration and anger because I let her play with a friend on the grounds that she would do her homework later. Last year she had to do homework immediately after school because she had a hard time refocusing at night. But she has done so well this week getting her homework done at night that I trusted her. It didn’t help that she was trying to say it was my fault. I started to raise my voice and lecture that she is responsible for her own homework….yadayadayada…
When Chad stopped me (It’s so much easier to be patient with your kids when you see them for 15 minutes a day. And when you haven’t been dealing with a toddler with an abrasion on his cornea all day and when you didn’t have to just go through the bedtime routine with 4 kids.)
He just said, “Tiffany” in that “there is a better way” voice and it clicked me back into good parent mode. I remembered my parenting philosophy to “not save the day” and “to give kids opportunities to solve their own problems” and “to not lecture”.
Here is how the conversation went from this turning point:
Mom: “Bummer. You are just going to have to tell Mrs. Grant you didn’t get your homework done.”
Mom: “Unless you have any other ideas.”
Elle: “I guess I could get up early tomorrow and do it.”
Mom: “That sounds like a good plan.”
Dad: “How much time do you think you will need?”
Elle: “I don’t know.”
Mom: “What time would you like us to wake you up?”
Elle: “7:00 A.M. I guess.”
Dad: “Okay, we will wake you up at 7:00 AM then.”
Here is a pic of Elle doing her homework bright and early this morning.
I am grateful for a husband who calls me out when I need it and who can handle when I call him out when he is the one down the “bad parenting path”. We make a good parenting tag team.