Perfect House. Perfect Mother.

We have been house hunting for about two months now and I have learned much about myself (and it hasn’t been pretty).  First, I’ve learned that I am a house snob.  Second, I’ve learned that I have a visceral reaction to wood anywhere but on the floor.  Third, I’ve learned I don’t do well with too many options.  Fourth, I’ve learned that I am conflicted on what I want my future path in life to be. And lastly, I’ve uncovered this erroneous belief that if I could just find the perfect house than maybe I could be a perfect mother.

(We have looked at this home a couple of times….)

For so long, I have blamed my inadequacies and frustrations in motherhood on my small home and its location.  As I have been looking for a new house, I think…

If I could find the house with the big mud room, then I could train my kids to always hang up their back packs and their “afterschool mess” would be contained to one room.

If I could find the house with space for a kid craft area off or near the kitchen, then my kids would watch less TV and they would all craft and color and create more.

If I could find the house with the beautiful, big kitchen, then I would want to cook nice healthy meals and dishes would be fun to do.

If I could find a house with more bedrooms, then each kid could have his/her own space and bedtime would be easier.  There would also be less fighting and less mess.

If I could find the house with a big laundry room, then my kids could sort their own laundry and I could keep up on it better.

If I could find the house with a big basement, then I wouldn’t feel so cramped and I wouldn’t feel like my kids were on top of me all the time.

If I could find a house with lots of storage, then every Lego, marker, Polly Pocket, school project, kid keepsake, or craft supply would have a home and there would be less clutter and less piles.

If I could find a house with the 3rd garage, then bikes wouldn’t get stolen and there would be a place to gather the outdoor mess.

If I could find a home in the perfect location, then my kids would spend their days riding bikes and I wouldn’t have to worry about them getting run over by cars.

As you can see I am looking for the impossible.

This house hunting journey is not only about me accepting the less than perfect house, but more about me accepting  myself as the less than perfect mother.  I need to embrace that motherhood is never going to be perfect or easy.  And that even in a big, beautiful home there will still be mess, clutter, yelling, frustration, fighting, nagging and fast food meals.

Here’s hoping I can believe what I just wrote, so I am not homeless when the end of the year comes.

6 thoughts on “Perfect House. Perfect Mother.”

  1. Fake it until you make it. And as far as you being picky on houses…you should because it is YOUR house and it is A LOT of money to spend on something if you don’t LOVE it.
    Here’s hoping that when I get a bigger house I can be half as good as a mom as you.

  2. Um – that house looks pretty darn amazing. What’s the hang up on that one?

    I tend to think the same way on some of the things you listed. Life is never going to be perfect, so I guess we better just suck it up and be happy with what we’ve got:)

  3. This post sings to me…so many times a day I say these things over and over. I feel so cramped and so sick of messes on top of messes. I have to keep telling myself that we won’t be like this forever and we will look back one day and miss this home. I much rather have messes because it means I have 5 beautiful children and for that I am grateful.

    p.s. that house does look amazing!!

  4. I have my perfect house and still struggle with all of those things you listed. The house doesn’t change reality, motivation, energy, kids, messes etc… Now my excuses are that my house is so big it’s hard to keep clean, and I still don’t have motivation to cook meals because I’m so tired from cleaning my house all the time 🙂 and my kids still throw their backpacks on the floor, and having their own rooms doesn’t eliminate fighting or bedtime issues because now they just fight when one comes into the other one’s room, and they just get out of their beds at bedtime and goof around with the kids in the other rooms. We live in a perfect culdesac and my kids still watch too much tv and play inside way too much. And instead of coloring in a perfect little arts and craft nook, they do that on the kitchen table so they can watch tv at the same time. But with that being said, you should be picky! Lots of storage is important to me, and being on a quiet street is important too. But even with lots of storage I still have my piles. I can’t get rid of the piles no matter how organized I am. Good Luck.

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