No Offense

I am on a mission to educate my kids (and the world) about the “No Offense” clause.

As a general rule, if you have to preface a statement by “No offense”, then it is going to be offensive.

Like when my BIL said, “No offense Tiffany, but your neighborhood seemed like white trash.”

Or when Crew said, “No offense mom, but Thalia’s cookies are better than yours.”

Or when Croft said, “No offense mom, but you don’t sound very good when you sing.”

Or when my son said, “No offense mom, but you are kinda fat.”

Or when Elle tells Crew, “You look like a baby; no offense.”

All of these statements may be true.  But the “no offense” part does nothing to take away the sting of their reality.  In fact I would rather have you just flat out put me down than try to frost it with “No offense.”

Close cousins to the hurtful “no offense” clause are

“I’m sorry, but…”  or

“Just kidding” or

“Not to be rude, but…”

I have tried to teach my kids this concept. I keep telling them if you feel the need to say “no offense” there is your clue that you shouldn’t say what you are about to say because it is most likely offensive.

It is delicate to teach your children that honesty is not always the best policy and it is a difficult principle for them to grasp.  But it is a valuable life skill that my kids (and the rest of us) understand that sometimes it is best to just not say anything.

5 Comments
  1. I once heard the idea of a ruler. Smack a ruler on someone’s palm and just saying “just kidding” or”no offense” doesn’t take the sting away.

  2. I love this! When I saw this post I thought ‘Finally, someone who thinks like me.’ I’ve been telling my kids for years ‘If you have to preface something you’re going to say with ‘No offense’ then keep your mouth shut!’ Thank you for sharing!

  3. Our society has become ruder and ruder. You hit the nail on the head! Just like when Flower said to Thumper, “If you can’t say anything nice then you shouldn’t say anything at all!” Good Advice!